Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Great Depression 2: Electric Boogaloo

Fear not, America! Although the recent financial crises we have been facing may have whittled your 401k down to a few nickels, a decoder ring and some lint and have forced some of us to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for every meal of the day (not naming any names, but I am basically keeping the Skippy guys outfitted in moderately-priced poly blend suits and platinum-esque cufflinks), there are a few totally awesome 1930's depression-era trends that I am pretty stoked about revisiting:

1. Uplifting Musical Comedies



Let's face it, modern day musicals suck. Rent? That shit was terrible. No one wants to hear songs about AIDS and on-the-fence lesbianism. Musicals from the Great Depression gave us subject matter that we can ALL relate to: desperately scavaging for spare change in the street.

2. Hobo Soup

I'm not really sure what constitutes as a "Jungle Recipe", but if this is what hobos eat, then I'm pretty damn excited about becoming a hobo. Plus, for those of you unsure of how to build and/or start a tire fire, smoke flavor is already added!

3. Hilarious Barrel-related outfits

Nothing guilts people into giving you money more than wearing a giant foam novelty costume. Trust me, I've been there.

Once Again, Russia Proves Its Kind-Of-Vague Insult Clout A Million Times Over

The next time someone pisses me off, I am totally calling them a worthless bag of hair.

Friday, September 05, 2008