I like "Erotic Sex", too.

Since it was too cold out today to do my usual hobo-nap-on-a-park-bench-during-lunch-hour trick (very difficult to pull off, almost David Blaine level. You have to position the newspaper over your face just right or you look totally unbelievable. I like to add an empty 40 of KC for added effect.), I decided to do that kind of annoying thing where I pick up magazines at the bookstore and get the pages all dog eared and steal the perfume samples, etc.

I couldn't help but pick up this month's Cosmo, partly because the dress that Jessica Biel wears on the cover is amazing and I wanted to know just how much more it was than I could ever afford, but mostly because of the emblazoned headline "Secrets of Male Arousal!" . Of course I jumped at the chance to learn the secrets of how to please my man-what red-blooded American gal wouldn't? The article stated such helpful hints as:

-Walk around in your panties and bra in front of him!
-Give him a seductive look at the bar!
-Let him do you doggie style!

Now, while I applaud(?) Cosmo's efforts of letting us in on all the kinky sex secrets we'd need to know circa 1947, I'm pretty sure women nowadays know that guys like hittin' it from the back.

I spent a good 45 minutes wondering to myself how the people behind this thing even let an article as retarded as this one pass through quality control. I mean, we all know the old addage "sex sells", "women will read anything if it they think it will help them get a man" blah blah blah, but come on, have some journalistic integrity here. Does Cosmo really think its readers are that stupid?

Well, apparently the editor does.

Oh Kate White, you relish in the fact that your reader base snaps up copies of your sad piece of shit excuse for a women's interest rag solely because of the idiotic and asinine headliners. You certainly are smarter than the average fashion mag worker! Too bad that ain't sayin' too much.