Some Things

At first I thought this post was going to be entitled "My New Years Resolutions, Three Months Early". Because, you know, New Years day is no time for resolutions. It's a time to be hungover and eat discounted Christmas chocolate and maybe watch a "Freaks and Geeks" marathon, so you sure as hell better get your resolutions figured the fuck out before then. Then I realized it wasn't so much resolutions as a list of stuff I might like to get done sometime. That eventually digressed into an indistinguishable disorganized mess of stuff I'm just really excited to tell people about, which I am henceforth passing on to you.

1. Hey! I'm going to start a podcast. Apparently all you need is a microphone, garage band, and a desire to be kind of an asshole on the internet. Already got the last two covered, the mic is in the mail. It'll probably be very similar to this blog, a lot of the music I like interlaced with my rapier wit. Also, probably some wacky sound effects. I'm going to call it "StarKast". Catchy, non?

2. As I was walking home from the gym I noticed a Colt 45 advertisement on the side of a building. I guess drinking malt liquor has become de rigueur among the hipster set, but it still threw me off to see it on the side of some fancy Wicker Park condo. Anywho, I was trying to find an image of the ad I saw because it included the classic Colt 45 tagline "It Works Every Time!"*. Well kids, I did one better. Billy Dee presents Colt 45. Thank you, internet.

3. Hey, look! They remixed my favorite Robyn song. Hope y'all like europop, cause it's comin' at you in full force.

4. Who wants to go hiking? I promise I won't try to eat you in the woods** if we get lost for a really long time because I'll be sure to pack a whole bunch of those gross peanut butter and cheese cracker things. C'mon, it'll be funnnnnn!

*It works every time? What does that mean? It works every time you want to date rape someone? I expected better from you, Billy Dee.
**This statement is revoked if your head starts looking like a giant roast turkey ala that one Bugs Bunny cartoon. You know the one I'm talking about.